Sanguine
by Nanaki BH
Summary: [Johnny x Eric] Sanguine finds his way to become a true vampire with a possible added bonus. Shounenai alert. Reviews are welcome.


Disclaimer: I don't own any of "JTHM", "SQUEE!" or any other related material; it all belongs to Jhonen Vasquez.

Author's foreword: Ignore the giant vampire head. Consider this AU. I've revamped (pun!) this story since 2003. If you don't like shounen-ai (even though this seems like less now) then go back now. Thanks. Enjoy.

Sanguine

By: Nanaki BH

Dear Journal of the Damned,

Today was horrible, like many of the other days that I have been living in this horrid human existence. Today, when school let out, some normals threw books at me. They yelled at me, cursed at me… called me a freak. I know. I am a freak. Freak is a word used to describe something different, unique. I can't make them understand though. They only want to hear their own voices. The Darklings rescued me. I felt so pitiful even though I walked away virtually unscathed. The only wounds I have are the few cuts that lay scattered on my back and a black eye. It's not like my useless excuse for a father will ever notice this. My clothes are always black. That way, if blood seeps through the fabric of my shirt, it will go unnoticed. The black eye can be taken care of easily with a little makeup. Life goes on with no one to notice.

Sometimes I wish I had more people in my family besides my dad and me. Sometimes I wish that someone would notice.

I sighed to myself and closed the diary. I usually don't notice what I write until I reread what I wrote. I've shocked myself a couple of times in the past. It's like I'm outside of myself when I write. The Darklings don't even know what I write in there. They've seen me write in it, yes, but I could never discuss with them the kind of things I talk about in it. It's all more angst-ridden and deep than how I am out loud. I guess it reflects me on the inside; a vampire.

Sitting here filling my head with worry would only lead me deeper into grief and frustration. I flung my legs over the side of the bed and walked the short distance to my mirror. Sadly, when I reached it, I still had a reflection. Vampires don't need reflections. They know they're beautiful. I quickly applied a generous amount of makeup to cover up the bruise around my eye and clipped on my cross-shaped earrings. I looked over my reflection in semi-satisfaction and quietly opened my door to the living room. I hoped to go unnoticed for the moment but, unfortunately, I was caught by my father. He warned me that I "had better get back before midnight," because, "I don't want you doing some crazy crap out there tonight".

I rolled my eyes at him and told him I'd be a good boy. Yeah, sure. On my dead, mortal body, maybe. I planned to gather the other Darklings and make a night of it. I wanted to forget that I was ever human. We planned to go to a graveyard to hunt for vampires and tonight we would finally find one. I could feel it. Mythical creatures, my ass. I would prove, once and for all, that vampires existed… by becoming one.

By the time I reached the "DON'T WALK" sign at the end of the street I was broken from my fantasizing by the sounds of police car sirens. I saw them turn to the right down into the darker part of our city. It didn't look like they were in any particular hurry to get there. Who knows, maybe there was a bank robbery or something. I decided I would follow them. So instead of walking across the street like I had planned, I took the same right. I had immediately noticed I hadn't seen which way they had gone after that, so taking a guess, I took a left… then a right… then another left… and I wound up in an alley.

I looked back, trying to remember where I came from but quickly gave up. I was lost… but lost was good. In all the vampire movies I've seen, most people got lost, started to run frantically and then were bitten by vampires in alleys or in a church or something of the sort. It looked suspicious enough outside tonight; just like a movie and complete with the fog. It was a perfect night to be bitten by a vampire!

I grinned inwardly then chuckled out loud. My intuition was telling me I'd encounter one. "Come out come out, where ever you are!" I shouted, my voice echoing on the walls.

…something didn't feel right.

Some trash cans knocked over at the end of the alley. I heard a grunt and something swept past me. A sharp pain in my arm followed. Apparently I had just been sliced by that _something_. I winced and sucked in a deep breath. I held my hand to the deep gash in my right arm. I turned around and almost fell over in shock and admiration. The man in front of me, poised for battle, was adorned in as much black as I was. The letter opener he held was slick with my own blood. He was gorgeous in a frightening way; the immortal beauty of a vampire.

Were my suspicions true? Had he really heard me? Blood dripped down his temple and ran its way down to his lips and followed in small rivers to his chin. Could he be…? Is he really…? My mind was reeling with the questions.

"A vampire!" I shouted incredulously. "_Bite me!_" I cried. With haste, I flung myself at him, throwing my arms around his neck.

He shrugged me off and stepped away. He narrowed his eyes at me and hissed.

My eyebrows furrowed into a look of confusion. "Why won't you bite me? Do you not feel the need to feed on mortal blood?" I asked cautiously.

He scowled with gritted teeth. "No," he answered simply. I wanted more.

"No?" I questioned. "You don't?" I took a couple steps toward him and rubbed the back of my hand against his blood streaked cheek. It was strange. No book, game, or movie could ever describe the way he looked. He was something ethereal.

He flinched and pulled away from me again. "No, I'm not a vampire." He tapped his chin in thought. "Though that does sound pretty damn cool."

I could feel my eyes begin to tear. "You're not a vampire! I just had the feeling I would meet one tonight and when I finally see someone who looks like they could be a vampire... he's not!" I shouted. "Why the hell are you not a vampire!" I screamed and shook his shoulders.

"Hey, I'm not for the same reason that you aren't, okay? You know, I'm not sure if I want to have a_ conversation_ with you or feed you to my wall." He said, pulling my hands from him. "He'd appreciate a good meal, but you're a funny one."

"…your _wall_?" I asked. Suddenly, I felt the urge to run. If he wasn't a vampire, then why is he holding a knife and why does he have blood on his face…? Oh God, he must be the guy the police were after!

"Who knows,_ he_ might be a vampire. He feeds off of human blood. I've never tried to get bitten by him and I can't say I've ever wanted to. He'd rip my head straight off from my shoulders, you know!" He said laughing. It was an odd sadistic sort of laugh. He seemed a bit like a Darkling if you only looked at his clothes, but when it comes to referring to evil creatures that lived in your own home…

"What's your name?" I asked. There was something that intrigued me about him.

"My name is Johnny C., but my friends, though few, call me NNY," he said casually, extending a hand.

I took it and replied, "My name is Eric, but please call me Sanguine." When I retrieved my hand, I noticed a small amount of blood had been deposited on it. Without even thinking of what I was doing, I brought my hand to my lips and lapped up the blood.

He cocked his head and stared at me from the side. "Can't say I've ever seen anyone do that." His gaze remained on me. If it weren't for the one hand he'd kept behind his back I would have felt safe. "What are your thoughts on death?"

I smirked. "I do anything if it meant becoming a vampire. I hope for my death to be at the hands of one." I breathed deeply. "That way…"

He nodded calmly. His eyes betrayed him. They were shifty; not nervous, but like he was taking in everything, waiting to make a sudden move if needed.

"Then how do you feel about killing?" Not the question I'd have expected.

"I-I guess that…" my thoughts couldn't be finished as he rushed at me and had me pressed against the nearest wall with the letter opener to my neck faster than I could imagine.

He snorted, eyes fixing themselves on mine. "No," he said, "you have to be sure of yourself. No stuttering. No _guessing_. When you kill, you have to know _why_." He snickered. "Although I can't say I always have a good reason." It was more to him than to me. "Now as I said… Why should people kill? What do they kill for?"

I raised an eyebrow. "People kill with reason." I gulped, his knife was pressing closer. Well, I'm standing in an alley where no one could hear me with a knife pressed close to my throat. The guy's obviously insane and, really, what are my odds of getting free? Why did I stick around when I could have had a better chance at running five seconds ago? One word could kill me at any moment now, but what's the difference? Why prolong it if he'd kill me anyway? I guess I'll chance it. No hurt in being curious right? …wrong. "I would kill if it meant becoming a vampire. That would have to be my life. It's what I want. What do you kill for?" I asked.

He backed away slowly, but not before he let the knife slowly drag its way across my neck. "No one should be as selfish. You want to kill for yourself, is that it?" He looked away. He muttered softly to himself. "I kill so the wall won't kill me… kill other people. I do it for him." The way he paced was making me dizzy. "Don't change the subject!" he shouted. "You only kill for yourself," he said, glaring daggers at me.

"No," I muttered. "I'd kill for revenge."

Johnny clasped his hands behind his back and turned away from me. I could have sworn the knife was through his hand. He shook his head; I think it's his way of reprimanding me. Was he saying that was stupid? Oh God. Should I run now? I don't even know where I came from!

"Selfish, selfish," he muttered softly. "But…" he kicked up a small cloud of dust on the ground. He was pacing the ground, speaking softly to himself. "He's too weak. Kills for himself but… If… I need the help…" Finally, he turned back to me and held the letter opener to me. It was covered in a fresh coat of blood. It _must_ have been in his hand. Or was that the blood from my neck? "Stab me," he said with the strangest composure.

"What?" I asked quietly; mystified.

He smirked; the dark played off his features and made him look even deadlier. "You heard me. Prove you can do it and I'll find you your vampire."

My eyes widened. He wanted me to stab him? That's all? This is a trick. He's going to kill me; at this point he's just toying with me. What a fool I am. The Darklings must be somewhere wondering where I am. I bet they think a vampire's taken me already. Hell… maybe I can kill him. Maybe I can just run out of here then. Alright, calm down, Sanguine. You can do it. Just stab him and run like hell.

"Go on," he said, and thrust the knife in my direction. I took it from him reluctantly and stared at the blade. It was old and rusted. It was befitting of him, I guess. I closed my eyes.

Don't think, Sanguine. Just do it.

Before I even had the chance to realize it, I had the blade sunk deep into his stomach. "Holy shit," I muttered. He was still standing straight though; unfazed. A hand clamped onto my shoulder so he could still himself. He coughed hoarsely, resting his head on my opposite shoulder.

"Good one, kid," he said quietly. "But I hope you know I didn't tell you the whole deal." I backed off then, leaving the knife still stuck in his middle. I watched in horrified awe as he pulled it from himself and stuck his hand out for me to take it again. Now I was a little more than confused. "It's alright," he said, straightening himself back up, "just take it. You'll need it now."

I took it from him again, more frightened than ever. "What's 'the whole deal'?"

He grinned. "I'll find you that vampire, sure. I've had enough run-ins with the devil; I'm sure I can find a vampire for you. Thing is," he paused, "you see, I need help." He gritted his teeth. I could tell he didn't like to admit that sort of thing. I certainly don't. "Until I get you that vampire, you have to find me victims."

"Victims?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah," he said, "find food for the wall."

I breathed in shakily. "I'm a teenager though… in high school… you expect me to kill people for you?"

"What's the big deal?" he asked nonchalantly. "You want to be a vampire. You shouldn't care." He patted me on the shoulder. "So it's all good now." He leaned in closer to me so I could feel his breath against my ear. "I'll look forward to seeing you around, Sanguine."

Before I knew it he was walking down the alley to the street.

I stood there incredulous, staring at his retreating figure. "But how will I find you?" I shouted after him.

"Don't worry," he called. He didn't turn around. "I'll find _you_."

For a reason unknown to me, I hoped that he would… and I looked forward to "seeing him around" too.

Author's Notes: Much better. It's not going to be multichapteral, so don't even ask. I was going to do that last time, but I decided against it now. I'm not even a big fan of this anymore. I just wanted to fix this thing really bad. I hope it's an improvement. Don't review if you don't like the pairing or something because I don't care.


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